Taking structured time out of your life to talk, reflect and think with a professionally trained counsellor or psychotherapist, who is independent of your world and anyone else in it and who brings no agenda other than to support and help you, gives people the experience of feeling fully listened to and understood, sometimes for the first time in their lives. The therapist picking up on themes or feelings that emerge may help you gain more awareness about yourself and certain behaviours that are either helping or not helping you, and highlight changes you want to make in your life.

Research shows that the key to successful therapy is the quality of the relationship between therapist and client. When talking to or meeting a potential therapist, ask yourself whether this is someone you feel you could talk openly to without fear of being judged, someone you could be your real self with, and trust with thoughts and feelings you find difficult. Is this someone who you feel would put your best interests and wellbeing at the centre of their work with you? Respect yourself enough to meet several therapists if that is what it takes to find the right therapist for you.

That’s a hard question to answer and depends on your reason for seeking therapy and your preference. I work both short and long-term, but for someone with little or no previous experience of therapy I generally suggest an initial six sessions, once a week, with a review towards the end of the six weeks to share our thoughts on how things are going and for you to decide what you would like going forward. The reason for a minimum of six sessions is that it takes time to build the necessary therapeutic relationship and to do enough work together to enable lasting change to occur.

I take holidays and occasionally have an unavoidable reason why I need to cancel a session, but I will give you as much notice as possible, several weeks in the case of holidays. You will also take holidays and life will sometimes get in the way of you being able to come to a session. I ask that you give me as much notice as possible of holiday periods and 48 hours notice of cancellation. Sessions become fully payable if 48 hours notice has not been possible, regardless of the cancellation reason. This is because you will have a designated weekly appointment and I cannot re-allocate it to someone else if you are absent one week.

The session will not start until your partner arrives and will still finish at the original time ie a 9am session ends at 9.50 irrespective of whether it starts late due to a client being delayed. If your partner does not show up, the session is still payable. The reason we cannot go ahead without your partner is that the way I work with couples requires both people present.

I would consider working with one of you individually but could not work with both of you individually because the ethics I adhere to (BACP guidelines available on request) regard working with any two people who know each other well as a conflict of interest.

https://www.bacp.co.uk/

https://www.mind.org.uk/

https://www.samaritans.org